When Your Young Person Struggles to Sleep—Tips for Bedtime

Most of us know that getting enough sleep is beneficial to our well-being. From increasing our energy levels and improving our mood to helping us regulate our emotions and stay motivated, a good night’s sleep can make our days feel more manageable.

For teenagers, who are experiencing brain and hormonal changes, revising for exams, navigating relationships, and planning for their future, sleep is even more important.

The trouble is that for young people in care, falling asleep and staying asleep can feel difficult. Why? Childhood trauma and sleep issues are connected. Whether it’s anxiety about being alone in the dark, racing thoughts, or nightmares, adverse childhood experiences can disrupt sleep.

In this article, we explore the link between trauma and sleep issues in more detail. We also provide tips to help your young person build a bedtime routine that promotes sleep and leaves them feeling refreshed in the morning.

sleep problems

Childhood trauma and sleep problems

Every teenager can have trouble sleeping, but young people in care are more likely to experience sleep problems due to their trauma, and here’s why:

  • Missing their family: Regardless of why a young person is in foster care, they may miss their family. During the day, they might find it easier to distract themselves from feelings of loss and grief when they’re at school or engaged in activities. But when night comes, and they’re alone in their room, thoughts of their family could prevent them from falling asleep.
  • Living with a new family: If your young person has only just moved in, they may struggle to sleep as they try to settle into their new home and make sense of their circumstances.
  • Hypervigilance: If your young person has experienced abuse, their nervous system may have adapted to keep them safe. As a result, their senses can become heightened, allowing them to quickly scan their environment for potential threats. This hypervigilance means that when they’re trying to fall asleep, they may be easily disturbed by creaking floorboards, footsteps, or voices coming from downstairs.
  • Nightmares: They may have nightmares as they try to process their experiences; this can mean they wake in the night or are afraid to fall asleep.
  • Stress: Moving into care and being chronically stressed in their previous home may have elevated their cortisol levels, making it difficult to produce melatonin to sleep.

5 Tips for building a good bedtime routine

Good bedtime routines can make all the difference to the way we sleep. Whether you provide long-term, interim, or emergency foster care, here is how to build a trauma-informed bedtime routine that helps your young person wind down and get some decent shuteye.

Adjust their sleep environment

Make sure your teenager’s bedroom is a comfortable space where they can relax and unwind after a long day at school. Ask your teenager to get involved in making a few tweaks to their room so they feel like they have some control over their environment. Here are some examples of small changes that could make a huge difference to their quality of sleep:

  • Decoration: Let them choose the colour of their room, the way it’s laid out, and accessories that bring them comfort.
  • Temperature: The optimum room temperature for sleep is around 16 and 18°C, but your young person may prefer a slightly cooler or warmer environment.
  • Night lights: If they’re nervous about switching the light off and being alone in the dark, you could help them choose a night light that fits the aesthetic of their room.
  • Sound machines: If hypervigilance is keeping them awake, sound machines can help drown out background noise and are a great alternative to earplugs if your teen doesn’t like wearing them.
  • Decluttering: If they’ve accumulated quite a few belongings, do they need more storage? Clutter can increase stress levels, which can prevent a good night’s sleep.

Stick to the same bedtime

Agree on a suitable bedtime for your foster child and try to stick to it every night. You could also help them modify their evening habits, optimising them for a good night’s sleep.

For instance, if their bedtime is at 9.30 pm, get them in the routine of beginning to prepare for sleep an hour before. This could include putting screens away, a warm bath, brushing their teeth, reading a book or doing another wind-down activity before they turn the light off to sleep.

Emotional regulation before bedtime

If your teenager lies awake at night reliving the past day or painful memories, nurturing their emotional needs before bedtime could prevent racing thoughts.

Whether it’s over dinner, on a walk around the block or while you’re watching a TV show you love together, make it a routine to check in with them on a daily basis.

You could also encourage them to do a calming activity that helps regulate their nervous system, such as journaling, drawing, or listening to music. They can then go to bed feeling calmer and more in harmony with themselves, helping them switch off and sleep well.

Be mindful of mealtimes

Digestive issues, hunger pains, and feeling wired can all prevent healthy sleeping habits. So be mindful of mealtimes, making sure your teenager eats two to four hours before bed so their body has plenty of time to digest food.

It’s also a good idea to encourage them to avoid anything that contains caffeine close to bedtime, such as chocolate, cola, and energy drinks. Not only is caffeine a stimulant, but it can also make their mind race and leave them feeling on edge, which won’t aid a good night’s sleep.

If they do get hungry between dinner and bedtime, suggest a small healthy snack that contains vitamins and minerals, such as magnesium, which aid sleep.

Reassure them before bedtime

Before you head to bed, reassure your teenager that if they have a nightmare, struggle to get to sleep, or want to talk about something on their mind, all they have to do is knock on your door.

We know that, as a foster carer, you need a good night’s sleep too, but for teenagers living with trauma, they need to feel confident that you’ll be there for them no matter the hour.

So, if they do wake you up in the middle of the night, show them patience and understanding, so they can go back to bed feeling safe, supported and heard when they’re at their most vulnerable.

Supporting children living with trauma

At FCA Scotland, our support for children in foster care is holistic, caring for their entire well-being. This includes therapeutic interventions, such as joint therapy sessions, consultations, training, and more. These help both you, as a foster carer, and us as a community, understand each child’s unique experiences so we can provide tailored support.

We also organise support groups in your local area, helping you connect with other foster carers. They may be able to offer more suggestions on how to help your teenager sleep based on their lived experiences.

And if things become particularly difficult during the night, you can always call us on our 24/7 helpline. We’re here for you, no matter the situation, no matter the hour.

good bedtime routine

Ready to change children’s lives?

If you’d like to make a real difference in the lives of children and young people, call us on 0141 646 4805 to learn more about becoming a foster carer. You can also submit an online enquiry form, and a member of our dedicated team will call you.

What to Do if Your Foster Children Aren’t Getting Along

Foster children not getting on with each other?

It is perfectly normal for children and young people to need time to adjust to new family dynamics. Perhaps one child has been with you for longer and is finding it hard to welcome a new sibling, or maybe changing needs and teenage years are creating a bit of tension. Whatever the situation, you are not alone. Many foster families experience the same challenges.

The good news is that with the right support, things can get better. Join us to find out why foster siblings might sometimes clash and discover what you can do to support them in building a healthier and happier relationship.

Foster Children Aren't Getting Along

Why foster children may not get along

Whether you foster a sibling group or children from different families, there might be times when they just don’t get along. It’s completely normal for siblings to fall out from time to time, but if it becomes more frequent than not, you may need to make some changes to help them resolve their issues.

Before we explore some strategies to help you improve the relationship between your foster children, it’s important to understand why they may not get along.

Trauma’s impact on relationships

Children in care are often living with trauma. This can make it difficult for them to regulate their emotions, trust others, and build healthy attachments, which can impact foster sibling relationships. Let’s take a look at these in more detail.

Managing emotions

If one or both of your foster children struggle to manage their emotions, they could trigger each other without meaning to, making it difficult for them to get along.

For example, say one of your foster children touches the other’s belongings. That child may feel uneasy due to a painful experience, like having their belongings destroyed or thrown away.  Instead of voicing this, because they don’t know how, they may seemingly overact, impacting their relationship with their foster sibling.

 

Trusting new people

Children who’ve experienced abuse or neglect have often been let down by those they trusted the most. When they enter care, this can make it difficult for them to trust new people, especially if they end up moving foster homes multiple times.

As a result, they may initially struggle to get along with their new sibling until they’ve built up that trust with them, which can take time.

Forming attachments

Our early attachments become the blueprint for relationships, now and in the future.

When children receive consistent, nurturing care, they form a secure attachment. Secure attachments help children feel safe and loved because they know someone is always there for them, and positive relationships exist.

However, many children in care have never experienced a secure attachment with their caregivers. As a result, they may develop an insecure attachment style, which can influence the way they connect with others, including their foster siblings.

For example, they may avoid connection, keep their real feelings hidden, and prefer their own company. In other cases, an acute fear of rejection may lead them to appear clingy and overstep other people’s boundaries.

Trauma amplifies day-to-day stresses

The three elements of trauma mentioned above are just a snapshot of the struggles foster children could have with their siblings, which can also be amplified by day-to-day issues, such as:

  • Competition: Whether they realise it or not, foster siblings may compete for your time and attention. If they’re close in age, they may also become a little competitive about their grades, friendship groups, and things like sports. Some competition can be healthy, but if it’s constant, it could have a significant impact on their relationship.
  • Stress: If either of your foster children is under stress, this can influence their behaviour. They may have mood swings, isolate themselves, or rely on unhealthy behaviours to deal with the stress, which could affect their relationship with their sibling.
  • Different backgrounds: If you foster children from distinct backgrounds, there may be cultural or religious differences. They may not share the same values and be used to very different routines.
  • Needs: One of your foster children may have more urgent needs than the other. For example, if one of them is experiencing bullying, you may need to focus more of your energy on them while you address the issue. During this time, your other foster child could resent their sibling.
  • Grief: If one of your foster children has siblings that they’re unable to live with, living with a child from another foster family could feel unfair. This could cause friction between foster siblings.

5 tips to support foster sibling relationships

Now that you understand the challenges foster siblings can face, you can begin taking steps to support their relationship.

  1. Recognise why they aren’t getting along

    If you’ve noticed tensions between your foster children growing, the first step is to understand why they aren’t getting along. You can do this by:

    • Talking to your foster children: Ask open questions like, ‘How have you been feeling around your foster sibling lately?’ This invites them to share their perspective.
    • Using the ABC Model: If one of your foster children seems triggered by particular situations, affecting their relationship with their sibling, you can use the ABC model. This can help you understand what’s going on for that child and then make reasonable adjustments to help them.
    • Addressing issues: If your foster children struggle to open up about their feelings, their behaviour could indicate a rising issue. For example, if they usually love school but start refusing to go, could they be experiencing bullying or something else that needs your attention? Personal problems can impact sibling relationships.
    • Paying attention: Is one sibling picking on the other? Are they arguing over the same thing? Sometimes, just taking a step back and reflecting on your foster sibling’s relationship can help you see things more clearly.

  2. Nurture the bond between foster siblings

    Sometimes children and young people may need a little help to build a relationship with their foster siblings. The key thing to remember is that this doesn’t mean forcing a connection; it’s about providing opportunities for them to form a natural bond. Here are a few ways you can nurture their relationships:

    • Learning about each other: If your foster children have only just started living together, you could invite them to share something about themselves over dinner, such as their favourite film, TV show, or hobbies and interests.
    • Family fun: If the stresses of daily life are impacting their relationship, days out or evenings spent watching films, cooking together, or playing board games give them a chance to spend time together when they’re both more relaxed and create shared memories.
    • Team building: Encourage your foster children to work as a team by asking them to cook dinner together or plan your next trip. This also provides an opportunity for them to learn more about each other while they complete the task.
    • Consistency: Make sure boundaries and house rules are the same for all children, even if you’re providing interim or emergency foster care for one child and the other lives with you long-term. This can prevent foster children from feeling like another child is receiving preferential treatment, which can harm their relationship.
    • Empathy: If one of your foster children has more acute needs than the other, helping their foster sibling empathise with their situation could prevent them from falling out or feeling resentful.

  3. Spend quality time with each child

    If you foster more than one child, it’s important to spend quality time with each of them so they feel valued, loved, and secure. It could also prevent them from feeling jealous of their foster sibling because they know you still have time for them.

    The simplest way to do this is by making it part of your routine. If you foster young children, you could read with each of them individually before they go to bed. If one of the children is older, you could watch a TV show you both love together once the younger child has settled for the night.

    You could also plan a monthly foster carer and child day where you ask them to pick an activity for you to do together. This could be particularly helpful if one of the children in your care needs a little bit more of your day-to-day time at the moment.

  4. Mediate disagreements

    When disagreements happen, your response can make all the difference. You can help them by:

    • Not taking sides: Even if you think one foster child is being unreasonable, remain calm and neutral.
    • Separating them: If things are getting a little heated, separating your foster children could help them calm down before they say or do something they’ll later regret.
    • Listening: Speak to each of your foster children separately to understand what’s happened, how they’re feeling, and to find a resolution.
    • Acknowledging their feelings: Use neutral language, such as ‘I can see you’re upset’, which validates their feelings.
    • Teaching respectful communication: When things are calmer, you can teach them how to communicate respectfully by offering them both a chance to share their feelings.
    • Role modelling: Children can learn a lot about conflict resolution from the way you manage disagreements.

  5. Celebrate their relationship

    Relationships can be hard, especially when you’re living with trauma. So, if your foster children have handled a disagreement well, praise them – a little bit of acknowledgement and encouragement can go a long way.

    You could also celebrate their relationship by creating a photo book of memories they’ve shared. And if you’re long-term fostering, you could dedicate a day to their relationship each year.

    When children move into care, they have to leave everything behind, but when you celebrate your foster children’s bond, it could help take the focus away from what they’ve lost and onto what they’ve gained.

Remember: We’re here to help

Fostering is a team effort. That’s why at FCA Scotland, you’re never alone on your fostering journey.

Our Team parenting model gives you access to our network of fostering professionals, such as therapists, education leads and social workers who can help you support your foster child’s entire well-being, including relationships with their foster siblings.

We also provide extensive training, foster carer support groups, and year-round events and activities for the whole family to enjoy.

Ready to join FCA Scotland?

If you live in Scotland, are over 21 years old, have a spare bedroom, the legal right to live and work in the UK, and the desire to truly make a difference in the lives of children and young people, we’d love to hear from you.

Call us on 0141 646 4805 or submit an online enquiry form, and a member of our knowledgeable team will be in touch.

foster child feel about the move

Why Ongoing Training Is Vital for Foster Carers

Fostering and parenting your own children is the same, right? Not exactly. While there are some similarities, fostering is very different.

Children in care are often living with the trauma of their past experiences, which means traditional parenting methods can sometimes fall short and even make things worse. Instead, they need foster carers who have the specialist skills and knowledge to understand where they’re coming from, look beyond their behaviour, and help them feel safe, stable and loved.

One training course isn’t enough to keep up with the ever-changing and evolving needs of children in care. That’s why, when you foster with FCA Scotland, you receive ongoing training to prepare you for every stage of your fostering journey.

In this article, we’ll explore ongoing training in more detail, including how it works, why it matters for both you and the children you care for, and the support you’ll receive along the way.

training

How does foster care training work? 

At FCA Scotland, we have three training stages that help you build your skills and knowledge gradually over time. 

We offer a mix of face-to-face and virtual foster care training courses, making it easier for you to fit them into your busy schedule. Here’s a breakdown of each training stage, so you know what to expect.  

Stage 1: During your assessment 

As part of your fostering assessment, you’ll complete our Prepare to Foster training. This face-to-face training course takes place at your local centre over 2 to 3 days and will cover: 

  • The next steps on your journey to becoming a foster carer. 
  • What it’s like to be a child or young person in foster care. 
  • Fundamental knowledge and skills, so you can begin fostering with confidence. 

You’ll also have the chance to meet experienced foster carers and ask them any questions you have about what being a foster carer is really like. This training will help you decide whether fostering is the right fit for you and your family.  

 

Stage 2: When you’re new to fostering  

Once you’re approved, you’ll complete our mandatory training for foster carers during your first year. Some courses you’ll complete just once, while others you’ll repeat over time to refresh your learning. This training gives you a foundation of knowledge and skills to build upon, and includes courses on topics such as:  

  • Protecting children and safeguarding foster carers 
  • Child protection  
  • Managing behaviour  
  • Identity and self-esteem  
  • First Aid 
  • Attachment and child development 

Stage 3: As you’re gaining more experience 

Once you’ve completed our mandatory training, you can join our complementary training courses. These advanced sessions help you understand the specific needs of children you foster so you can adapt your approach to their care. Here is just a snapshot of the topics we cover:  

  • Working with Children with Disabilities 
  • Understanding Autism 
  • Caring for Unaccompanied Asylum-Seeking Children 
  • Complex Trauma 
  • Bullying and cyberbullying 
  • Parentification  
  • Abused and offender relationship  

We make it simple by giving you access to our training library, which we update and add to regularly. You simply log in, select the training course you’re interested in and sign up for a session that suits you.  

5 Benefits of ongoing training

Let’s take a look at some of the benefits of ongoing training for you, your family and children you care for.

  1. Grow with the child in your care

    Every foster child is unique – they have different backgrounds, experiences, and needs. Our ongoing training helps you adapt your care to each child as they grow, so they continue to feel valued, heard, and understood.

    This is especially crucial if you foster a child long-term because over time, they’ll change, and so will their needs. For example, when they reach adolescence, issues like online safety, bullying, and healthy relationships may become more of a concern.

    That’s why we offer a wide range of courses that help you support them effectively at every stage.

  2. Boost your confidence

    Most of us have faced moments where we’ve thought, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ Even if you had some idea, you might have felt unsure or even panicked. As a foster carer, you may face challenging situations, but ongoing training can give you the reassurance and confidence that you’ll know what to do when those challenges arise.

    For example, if your foster child is triggered by something in a crowded and noisy place, a lack of confidence might lead you to snap at them or make an impulsive decision. But when you feel equipped and prepared, you can stay calm, respond thoughtfully and keep the situation under control.

  3. Enhance your professional development

    Fostering offers a highly rewarding career, and at FCA Scotland, we’re committed to your personal and professional development. That’s why every foster carer has a Personal Development Plan, which is informed by your experience and the ongoing training you complete.

    If you want to specialise in a particular type of fostering, such as fostering a child with a disability, ongoing training can help you work towards this goal. The transferable skills you gain could also support job applications if you ever decide to move away from fostering and begin a new career.

  4. Stay up to date

    Fostering legislation and guidance doesn’t stay the same. It is reviewed and updated to ensure it continues to be in the best interests of children and young people in care and supports The Promise.

    Legislation includes:

    • The Children (Scotland) Act 2020
    • Looked After Children (Scotland) Regulations 2009
    • The Continuing Care (Scotland) Order 2015

    There is also guidance that accompanies this legislation, as well as good practice guidance such as Getting it Right for Every Child: Guidance for Overnight Stays for Looked After and Accommodated Children.

    Ongoing training ensures you stay up to date with the latest legislative changes and guidance, which not only helps children receive the best care but also protects you as a foster carer.

  5. Share your experiences

    At FCA Scotland, we run regular local support groups that are fantastic for building a support network in your area. However, our foster care courses go one step further – you’ll be joined by foster carers from across the UK, helping you build an even wider and stronger network of support in Scotland and beyond.

    During each session, you’ll have a chance to share your experiences and learn from each other, and our knowledgeable trainers can also provide their advice and guidance if you’re facing a particular issue.

    We’re more than just a fostering agency – we’re a community. Our ongoing training is just one of the many ways we keep you connected with like-minded people and encourage you to see things from a new perspective.

Supporting you on your fostering journey 

Ongoing high-quality foster carer training is not the only thing we offer here at FCA Scotland. When you join us, you’ll also receive a generous fostering allowance and wrap-around support, which includes: 

  • Joint therapy sessions and consultations with therapists to help both you and young people understand their experiences and find new ways to communicate their thoughts and feelings.  
  • A dedicated supervising social worker who’ll be by your side, ready to answer any questions and offer their advice and guidance throughout your fostering journey.  
  • Access to fostering professionals, such as therapists and education officers, to ensure both you and the children you care for receive the right support  
  • Our 24/7 helpline, so whether it’s midday or midnight, you can always reach a member of the team.  
  • Mentoring from our carer buddies who are experienced foster carers and truly understand what it’s like to be a new foster parent.  
  • Regular local support groups. 
  • Year-round activities and events for your whole family to enjoy. 
  • Free membership to Fostertalk.  
ongoing training

Enquire today 

Ready to start the fostering process? Whether you’re new to fostering or have experience and want to learn more about transferring fostering agencies to FCA Scotland, call us on 0141 646 4805 or submit an online enquiry form, and we’ll be in touch. 

Keeping Your Foster Child’s Teeth Healthy

Most of us know that children’s oral health is important – it helps prevent tooth decay, gum disease, and more serious health complications in the future. But encouraging children to brush their teeth, use dental floss, and visit the dentist can be quite the battle.  

That’s why we’ve created this guide, where we’ll explore the importance of oral health, the barriers children in care face, and our tips for keeping your foster child’s teeth in tip-top condition. 

Why is oral health important? 

Oral health is a huge part of our physical health, and if you’ve ever experienced a dental problem, you’ll probably agree that the painful symptoms can really ruin your day.  

But it’s not just about the pain it can cause when our teeth aren’t properly cared for. It’s the short-term and long-term effects that can impact our quality of life and, in extreme cases, cause serious health problems.  

Supporting children to build healthy dental care habits now can help prevent infections and the need for tooth extractions and fillings, which can lead to time off school, social isolation, and problems with sleeping and eating. 

It can also help prevent the long-term effects of poor oral health, such as bad breath, gum disease, and tooth abscesses, improving their outcomes and overall well-being in adulthood. 

Barriers to good dental health for foster kids 

Research reveals that children in care are twice as likely to have urgent dental needs and require a tooth extraction as their peers. They are also less likely to visit a dentist and have ongoing dental needs.  

Children in care often face barriers to healthy oral health. Although these barriers are unique to each child, here are some examples of how a child’s past can impact their dental health when they move into your home: 

  • Neglect: If a child has experienced neglect, brushing their teeth and visiting the dentist may feel alien to them because in their birth home, they weren’t part of their routine.  
  • Frequent moves: If a child has moved foster homes a few times, this may have disrupted their routine, and they may have fallen out of the habit of caring for their teeth.  
  • Trauma: Children living with trauma may have negative associations with brushing their teeth. They may also be hypersensitive to the texture of a toothbrush, the taste of toothpaste, and the busy environment of a dental surgery.  
  • Communication: Abuse and neglect can lead to developmental delays, which could make it difficult for a child to communicate their dental needs.  
  • Scared of the dentist: They may be afraid of dental check-ups because they are new to them or because they struggle to trust new adults due to their past experiences.  

Getting to know the child in your care can help you understand which barriers to good dental care they face. From here, you can approach improving their oral hygiene habits in a way that works for them. Below are our tips to help you build dental care into your foster child’s routine.  

Tips for helping children care for their teeth  

Whether you foster long-term or provide emergency foster care, our tips can help your foster child create healthy oral hygiene habits that they can take with them when they return home, move to another foster home, or leave care.  

dental health for foster kids

Talk to them about dental health  

Children are never too young to learn about why dental health is important. Knowing the ‘why’ could help turn the boring and monotonous task of brushing their teeth into something they become eager to do.  

If your foster child is young, books like Why Should I Brush My Teeth? by Katie Daynes can help you explain why it’s important, why baby teeth fall out and why animals don’t have toothbrushes. And books like The Children’s Book of Dental Health by Kasasa Sarah also include a reward chart and stickers for gentle encouragement.  

There are plenty of videos on YouTube, featuring children’s favourite TV characters and songs about brushing their teeth, making learning about dental care engaging and fun.  

If you foster teenagers, a toothpaste advert could prompt a low-pressure conversation about oral hygiene, and videos on YouTube and TikTok can be a good visual way to help them learn how to brush their teeth correctly. 

Let them choose their toothbrush  

You can help children feel more comfortable and enthusiastic about brushing their teeth by giving them a little control over the habit.  

Let them choose their toothbrush and help them find a toothpaste flavour that isn’t too overpowering for them. You could also ask them to decide when in the morning and evening they’d like to brush their teeth. 

If your foster child struggles with the sensation of a standard manual toothbrush, try a silicone or electric toothbrush to find one that works for them. Once they have their toothbrush, you can then slowly introduce the idea of using it by pretending to brush the teeth of their favourite toys, or practising with their mouth closed.  

Role model good oral hygiene  

Children model their caregivers, so make sure you’re taking good care of your oral health too. Brush your teeth twice a day, visit the dentist for regular check-ups, and if you’re really committed, floss after every meal.  

You could even start brushing your teeth with your foster child, making up a silly song together. This could help turn the idea of brushing their teeth from a chore to a chance to have one-on-one time with you.  

If your foster child sees dental care as a normal part of your family’s routine, it will make forming the habit feel more natural to them too. 

Make it fun 

Standing in front of a mirror in silence to brush your teeth isn’t exactly a fun activity, especially for a child. So make it fun!  

There are plenty of apps out there specifically designed to encourage children to brush their teeth. Brush DJ can play your foster child’s favourite song for two minutes and send helpful reminders to brush and floss. Apps like Chomper Chums let children pick a brushing buddy to learn how to brush and floss correctly, and Toothsavers turns the habit into a game to save a magic kingdom.  

If you don’t want to use an app, make up your own game. For example, you could set a timer for two minutes and have a competition to see who can keep brushing their teeth the longest.  

Helping a child who’s afraid of the dentist  

If your foster child is scared of going to the dentist, one of the most important things you can do is validate their fear and show understanding. Find out what it is about the dentist that they find scary, and then try some of our ideas below to reassure them: 

  • Role play visiting the dentist: You could ask them to take on the role of a dentist and practice looking at their toy’s teeth, or you could pretend to be the dentist and check their teeth.  
  • Visit the dental surgery: Take your foster child to the dental surgery before the appointment. This will give them the chance to look around and get a feel for the setting. You could also introduce them to staff so they won’t be meeting new adults on the day.  
  • Talk to the dentist: Before the appointment, let the dentist know about your foster child’s fears; they’ll likely have some strategies they use for nervous patients.  
  • Take a comfort item: Ask your foster child to pick a comforting item, like a toy or a blanket, that will give them a little reassurance when they’re in the chair.  
  • Stay by their side: When they’re having their check-up, hold their hand or sit nearby. It may also help them if you narrate what’s happening using child-friendly language like, ‘They’re going to tickle your teeth now.’ 
  • Choose a stop sign: Let them know it’s okay if they need a break during their check-up and agree on a signal they can use to tell you, such as raising their hand.   
  • Praise their bravery: Once the appointment is over, celebrate their bravery and talk to them about how it went. What did they find hard? How can you make it more comfortable for them in the future? 

If you try these strategies, and your foster child is still too afraid to go to the dentist, reach out for support. At FCA Scotland, our Team Parenting model includes therapeutic interventions that can help children open up about their feelings and understand the root cause. You can also talk to your supervising social worker or lean on other foster carers; they may have some helpful advice based on their experiences. 

Thinking about fostering? 

If you’d like to make a big difference in the life of a child, we’d love to hear from you! Call us on 0141 646 4805 to learn more about fostering, including the different types of foster care, fostering allowances, and the support you’ll receive at FCA Scotland. You can also submit an online enquiry form, and one of our team will be in touch. 

Top Tips for Taking Your Foster Child on Holiday this Summer

As the kids enjoy some time away from school for the summer holidays , many of our foster families are no doubt be counting down the days to a well-deserved summer getaway.  

Whether you’re spending a week at a caravan park, enjoying all the natural beauty that Scotland has to offer or are venturing abroad for the first time with your foster children, grab your shades, kick back and relax as we answer some common questions about travelling with foster children and share our top tips for taking your foster child on holiday this summer. 

Can I take my foster child on holiday? 

The simple answer is, yes! You should discuss any plans with your supervising social worker and your child’s social worker when you’re planning a family getaway, as they’ll be able to provide a letter of consent if you choose to travel abroad, providing they agree that the trip is right for the child.  

Depending on your young person’s circumstances, you may also need permission from their birth family to take a holiday together. If your foster child requires a passport to travel, you can contact the Passport Advice Line for tailored support. 

  

Should we holiday at home or abroad as a foster family?

A staycation in Scotland can be a great option if you’re looking for an affordable break, if your foster child is nervous about travelling, or if you simply prefer fish supper on the pier to lazy days by the pool. If you choose to stay in Scotland there are plenty of amazing options, including enjoying a fantastic hiking holiday, a lively city break or taking an overnight ferry to the stunning Shetland Islands. Exploring Scotland can be the perfect opportunity for you and your family to explore our rich history, get active and take some time to recharge.  

Travelling abroad as a family is a fantastic opportunity to open your foster child up to a world of new experiences, giving them some incredible memories and helping them to build their confidence and gain a greater understanding of other cultures. Many foster children won’t have had the opportunity to travel abroad before, so there’s potential for you to introduce them to unforgettable new experiences, such as getting to swim in the ocean for the first time or seeing exotic animals in their natural habitat.  

 

Let’s take a look at some tips for travelling locally or abroad with your foster children, and how you can best consider your foster child’s unique needs when on holiday.  

 

3 Tips for a summer staycation as a foster family 

  • Start small. For some care-experienced children, a holiday with their foster family may be their first experience of travelling for fun. Your first holiday together might be an overwhelming experience, especially if your home has become their safe space. It might be a good idea to start small with a weekend away rather than a jam-packed lengthy holiday, helping them to build their confidence before taking on a bigger adventure like an overseas trip. 
  • Maintain routines while away from home. Many foster children, particularly those with additional needs, can struggle with changes in their routine. Sticking closely to elements of their daily routine, such as honouring their usual mealtimes and bedtimes, can help things feel a little more familiar when in a new environment. Once away, keeping in contact with loved ones back home can also provide some comfort and reassurance, such as by receiving photos of how the family pets are doing or chatting with friends and family via video call.  
  • Involve your foster child in the planning process. Show your foster child pictures of your accommodation and the places you’ll be visiting to help build excitement for your trip and ease any nerves they may have about going on holiday. It can also be a great idea to let them pick out some activities they’d enjoy getting up to while you’re away, such as visiting a waterpark or zoo. Allowing your foster child to pack their own case can also give them some feelings of control over the situation and provide reassurance— just check it over to make sure they’ve remembered all of the essentials! 

3 Tips for travelling abroad with your foster child 

  • Limit travel anxiety. It’s common for children to feel anxious about travelling by plane or spending time away from home, especially if it is their first time abroad. You can help to ease their worries by talking them through the process beforehand and showing them what to expect, such as by watching YouTube videos together or even visiting the airport in advance to watch the planes take off and become familiar with these new surroundings.  
  • Bring comforting items from home. Bringing along some home comforts like familiar foods, a hand-held game console, colouring books or a sensory toy bag can help things to feel a little more like home while on holiday. They can also help children to avoid boredom during the lengthy periods of waiting which often come with travelling, such as if a flight gets delayed or if you have to take a long car journey.  
  • Have a plan in place for when big emotions arise. Holidays are great fun, but they can also come with lots of stress, particularly when children are out of their normal routine. The hot weather, unfamiliar surroundings and busy crowds can lead to interrupted sleep and feelings of overwhelm. Building some downtime into your schedule and having a plan in place for if your kids become overwhelmed will help to ensure that you can create a happy holiday experience for the whole family to cherish. 

Time to enjoy some fun in the sun! 

If you are still unsure about any aspect of taking foster children on holidays, don’t hesitate to get in touch with your supervising social worker for advice. Your support network will do all that they can to help make your holiday one to remember— just don’t forget to pack your camera to capture your memories, and bring along plenty of sunscreen for those hot, balmy days! 

Looking for more tips on day-to-day life with your foster kids? Check out our blog for plenty of advice from our experts and our foster parents, including fun activities to keep the kids occupied over the summer.  

If you’re interested in learning more about fostering a child, contact us today to discover the part you can play in helping children in need across Scotland, or find out what it’s like to transfer to us.  

Benefits of Providing Foster Children with a Safe Home this Summer

For many children, the last school bell before the summer holidays is an exciting thing, as they eagerly anticipate six weeks of freedom, sunny weather, and time spent with their loving family.  

But for vulnerable children who live in unstable homes, school holidays can feel very different. Without the support and routine schools provide, including meals and a safe, caring environment, these children are more at risk of abuse, neglect, and isolation.   

If a child moves into care during this time, foster carers have a wonderful opportunity to change the way they experience breaks from school. Join us as we explore the benefits of fostering a child and providing them a safe, supportive, and nurturing home this summer. 

foster care keep children safe

Why summer puts vulnerable children at risk 

Schools safeguard children. From monitoring their attendance to recording concerns, schools play a vital role in keeping vulnerable children safe from harm.  

When this safety net pauses for summer, it can have a significant impact on these children, putting them at risk, and here are some reasons why: 

  • Schools provide routine and structure, helping children feel safe. Whether it be one-to-one support or at least two meals a day, when school ends for summer, some children may not have their most basic needs met.  
  • Schools help children build connections. A child or young person may have formed a good relationship with a trusted teacher or have a strong friendship group they can rely on. When school is out for the summer, this support may become infrequent or stop altogether, leaving them isolated.  
  • Childcare costs can make it difficult for low-income families to find suitable arrangements for their children while they’re at work during the holidays. This means a child may be left to fend for themselves for hours every day, putting them at risk of getting hurt.  
  • When children and young people are at school, there is less time for them to get involved in risky behaviours, such as drinking alcohol or taking drugs. Without the distraction of school, teenagers who are struggling at home may turn to risky behaviours for fun or to numb their feelings.  
  • If a child is living in a volatile home, the summer holidays mean they have no escape, putting them at higher risk of abuse.  
  • Like schools, community support often breaks up for summer or runs less frequently, leaving children with even less support throughout the summer.  
  • A lack of support and routine, coupled with feeling isolated, can negatively impact the mental health of vulnerable children and young people. 

How does foster care keep children safe? 

Foster care provides children with a safe haven during the summer holidays and beyond. 

The main reason children and young people move into care is because they have endured abuse or neglect. Foster carers keep these children safe, meeting their needs and nurturing their whole well-being so they can move out of survival mode, begin healing from their experiences, and have the childhood they deserve.  

At FCA Scotland, our Team Parenting model means children and young people receive an even higher level of support. Our network of fostering professionals, including therapists, education leads, and social workers, all work closely with foster carers to support their individual needs. We also go out of our way to make sure children in our care never feel isolated by listening to them and encouraging them to form connections with children who truly understand where they’re coming from.  

We aim to provide every vulnerable child and young person with a foundation that so many of us take for granted – a safe, loving, and nurturing home. 

Benefits of helping children this summer 

Becoming a foster carer will change both your life and a child’s as you begin this new chapter and grow together. Below are just some of the benefits of providing a safe home for children this summer.  

 

foster parent and foster child

Help children feel safe 

Although providing a child with a foster home keeps them physically safe from harm, it takes patience, understanding, and consistency to help children feel truly secure.  

Many children and young people who move into care are haunted by their past experiences, making it difficult for them to trust others and build connections. By fostering a child, you have a chance to show them that loving, trusting relationships really do exist, and we’ll help you do it.  

When you join FCA Scotland, you’ll join our foster carer training programme, which will give you the knowledge and skills to understand what makes children feel safe in foster care. We offer both face-to-face and online training courses on topics such as Attachment and Child Development, Managing Difficult Behaviour and Complex Trauma, equipping you with the tools to care for children who’ve had a difficult start to life.  

We’ll work with you to create a Personal Development Plan, helping you grow with each child in your care and prepare for every stage of your fostering journey. 

Make summer a positive experience 

By fostering a child this summer, you can help them see school holidays in a new light by creating happy memories together. Whether it be taking them to the beach and helping them build their first sandcastle or teaching them how to swim, the summer brings with it so many opportunities for your whole family to have fun.  

At FCA Scotland, we also organise days out and fun activities for children in foster care, asking them to choose where they’d like to go. These trips help foster children connect with others, make friends, and relax in the company of safe and trusted adults. 

Prevent risky behaviours 

When young people feel isolated and lonely or are suffering from the trauma of their past experiences, they may turn to risky behaviours to numb their feelings, especially if they have nothing to distract them or if they aren’t working towards their healing.  

When you foster a child during the summer, you can use the time they aren’t at school to help them begin their recovery journey. Although a school’s support may pause or lessen during the holidays, our support never stops – we’re here for our foster families 24/7.  

If the child in your care needs a little extra support, our therapists can help young people understand their experiences and heal from them rather than depend on risky behaviours to mask their pain. 

Support their emotional and mental health 

Children in care are dealing with some heavy things, which can have a huge impact on their mental and emotional health. Children rely on their caregivers to teach them how to regulate their emotions, so if they’ve lived in a home where their emotional needs were often overlooked, they may struggle to manage and express their thoughts and feelings.  

As a result, they need foster carers who know how to look beyond their behaviour to see what’s really going on and to help them find new ways of coping with their emotions. Self-regulation is a life skill that will not only benefit their relationships and schoolwork now but will also help them become more resilient to challenges throughout life.  

Prepare them for the new school year 

Fostering a child during the summer can help them feel more settled before the new term begins. If they move schools, it also gives them time to get to know the local community and look around the school before they start.  

Although beginning a new year in a completely different school may fill them with anxiety and dread, you’ll be by their side, listening to their worries and guiding them through the process. They’ll also have help from our team, including our education coordinator, who will ensure a child has the right support and attends a school that understands their needs.  

We believe that education plays a vital role in improving the outcomes for children in care, and together, we can help them thrive in the school environment. 

Start a new career that truly makes a difference 

As a foster carer, you’ll embark on an exciting new career journey where you’ll have opportunities to grow personally and professionally as you gain more experience. You’ll also receive a generous fostering allowance that’s typically tax-free and additional perks to help enrich your fostering journey, including: 

  • A £250 bonus in the summer and winter each year. 
  • Up to 14 nights of paid respite care. 
  • Gifts and experiences for every fostering milestone you reach.
  • Recognition events and rewards that highlight your role as a foster carer.
  • An annual appreciation bonus that rises every year you foster with us.

Supporting you this summer and beyond  

One of the things that sets us apart from other fostering agencies in Scotland is the support we offer our foster families.  

From the moment you enquire, we’ll be by your side, helping you understand the fostering process, pay, and training. When you first begin your fostering journey, you’ll also have additional support from a Carer Buddy. Our Carer Buddies are experienced foster carers who will mentor you through the assessment process and help you find your feet when you welcome your first child.  

We also provide an extensive range of support for children in foster care, including our forum for young people. Our young people’s forums are safe spaces for foster children to share their thoughts and feelings about the support they receive and how it could be improved. We also ask young people in our care to participate in carer training and prepare questions for us to ask foster carers at the fostering panel.  

At FCA Scotland, we work together, listen to our children, and continuously improve our services because this is the only way we can truly make a difference. 

Enquire today! 

If you’re ready to begin your next career move or want to transfer to a fostering agency that puts children and their foster families first, we’d love to hear from you.  

Call us today on 0141 646 4805 or submit our online enquiry form, and our friendly team will be in touch! 

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Moving House While Fostering

Moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do, and we understand that foster carers won’t take the decision lightly. However, when you foster a child, their well-being and happiness should always be at the centre of such a huge decision.  

In this article, we explore fostering and moving house in more detail, including the impact it could have on your foster child’s relationships, education, and sense of stability.  

foster child feel about the move

Can you move house with a foster child? 

Yes, you can move house when you’re fostering a child, but whether it’s feasible or not depends on how it could affect the child in your care. 

Your child’s social worker, along with every person involved in their care, will work together to assess the impact moving will have on them, considering details such as:  

Is it the right time? 

If you do decide to move house, it will cause some disruption to every family member. However, there are some ‘better’ times to move and others that may make the upheaval even more difficult for a child in care. 

Children in care need stability and routine, so if you plan on moving within the first 12 months of fostering a child, you may need to wait until after the move before welcoming a child into your home.  

Other life events will be considered too. For example, if your foster child is sitting exams, moving during this pivotal time could impact their grades and affect their future outcomes.  

The type of fostering also plays a part in whether it’s the right time to move house or not. If you foster a child on a short-term basis, their social worker may prefer you to wait until the child has left your care before moving house. If you foster a child long-term, and they’ve been thriving in your care for a number of years, the move may have less of an impact than it would on a child who has been living with you for less time.  

Will your child need to change schools? 

If you plan to move outside your current area, your foster child may need to change schools. It’s important to remember that children in care often have to switch schools when they move into care, leaving behind friendships, support, and teachers they may have liked. So, going through the process again requires special consideration.  

That’s why, before you move, questions about your child’s education may be raised, including: 

  • How will the child in your care be supported through the transition? 
  • If they have specialist needs, will the new school be able to accommodate them?  
  • How will changing schools impact their academic progress? 
  • How will it impact their friendships? 
  • How do they feel about moving schools? 

Will your child be able to maintain relationships? 

When moving house, another thing to consider is the impact it could have on your foster child’s relationships and family time arrangements. If you plan to stay in the same area, it’s unlikely that their relationships will be affected. However, if you want to move further away, contact with their friends, siblings, parents, and extended family could become trickier to navigate.  

For example, it could mean liaising with more than one local authority to organise family time. Travel times could also make current arrangements unsustainable. If the frequency of family time meetings needs reviewing, the well-being of your foster child will always be at the centre of decisions. 

Moving House While Fostering

Is your new home suitable for your foster child? 

During the fostering assessment, we assess your home to ensure it’s safe and suitable for the child in your care. When you move, we’ll need to review your new home in the same way.  

This includes completing a risk assessment and ensuring you have a spare bedroom. We also need to make sure the living areas within the home are big enough for every family member to live comfortably.  

If you want to move to a property that needs considerable improvement, it may not be suitable for your foster child. Renovations can cause a huge amount of disruption, putting children at risk and preventing them from feeling safe and settled at home. 

How does your foster child feel about the move? 

If you’re thinking about moving, your foster child’s social worker will want to know how they feel about it to ensure they receive the support they need. Children in care have often experienced a lot of upheaval in their lives, with decisions about where they live and who they live with made for them without their input.  

That’s why it’s important to talk to your child about the possibility of moving house, giving them the time and space to process their feelings. They may feel excited about living in a new home, but they could also feel anxious or upset about the change.  

Including them in such a big decision could also help put them at ease and reassure them that they are part of your family and that their thoughts and feelings matter.  

At FCA Scotland, we offer individualised support for children in foster care, ensuring they always feel heard and included in decisions that affect their lives. 

 

Is moving the right decision for you? 

Moving house can be chaotic. If you’re selling your home and buying another, you’ll have to deal with the disruption of house viewings, liaising with solicitors, and living out of boxes as the move date draws near. If you’re renting, you may have to allow others to view your home while finding a new, suitable place to live. 

It can take up a lot of your time and energy, which may be tricky to manage on top of your fostering responsibilities and other commitments. So, it’s important to make sure that moving house is right for you as well as for the child in your care – otherwise, you could be at risk of burnout. 

We’re here to provide the support you need 

At FCA Scotland, we know life can take our foster carers in many directions. Maybe you want to move for a change of scenery, access to better schools, or to upsize so you can foster more children. Whatever the reason, we’ll support both you and your foster child when you’re making the decision and through the transition with our Team Parenting model.  

You’ll receive therapeutic training and have access to joint therapy sessions and consultations, helping you better support your foster child through change. We also host events, activities, support groups, and meet-ups where you can connect with other foster carers who have moved while fostering. They may be able to offer advice about managing the transition based on their own experiences. 

Next steps  

If you’re thinking about moving house while you have a child in your care, the first step is to talk to your supervising social worker. They’ll guide you through the process and offer advice on what happens next.  

If you’re considering fostering but hope to move soon, you can still start the fostering process. However, you may need to wait until you’ve moved to welcome a child into your home. 

For more information about moving while fostering or for details about becoming a foster carer, including fostering allowances, support, and training you’ll receive, please get in touch. Together, we can #KeepThePromise and improve the lives of children and young across Scotland and beyond. 

Can you move house with a foster child?

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Helping Foster Children Explore New Foods

Food is a personal thing. Some foods can offer comfort in uncertainty and help us feel good on a bad day, while others provide mental clarity and give us energy to focus and exercise.  

Food can be an emotive topic, and if you’re worried about whether the child in your care is getting all the nutrients they need, we’re here to help. In this article, we explore the reasons why foster children may have challenges with food and provide tips on how you can help the child in your care discover new flavours so they can benefit from a well-balanced diet. 

trying new foods

Why won’t my foster children try any food? 

As a foster carer, you may spend a lot of time planning and preparing meals to ensure the child in your care receives a well-balanced diet. However, no matter how hard you try, encouraging them to eat the food you’ve so lovingly prepared can be easier said than done.  

Every child can go through periods of food fussiness. However, for children in care, there may be a lot more going on beneath the surface that makes trying new food more complex.  

So, before we look at ways you can help the child in your care explore new foods, we need to recognise the reasons why they may find their relationship with food challenging. 

 

Early experiences of food 

Imagine you’re a child in care who has experienced neglect. You may have spent many years of your early life wondering when you would have your next meal or surviving on a poorly balanced diet.  

If food was scarce, you might have had no choice but to find ways to meet your own basic nutritional needs – for example, by eating as much as possible when food was available or taking a little extra and saving it for the next day.  

You may even have become so accustomed to a lack of food that now you don’t have much of an appetite at all or struggle to try new foods because the choice, new flavours and unfamiliar textures are overwhelming. 

Children who’ve had these sorts of experiences may: 

  • Take extra food and hide it in their bedroom so they know they’ll always have something to eat. 
  • Overeat or eat to the point of feeling sick because they are worried about feeling hungry again. 
  • Seem preoccupied with food – constantly looking in the fridge or cupboard, or asking when they’ll next have something to eat.
  • Not recognise when they are hungry or full.
  • Only want to eat one type of food.
  • Eat faster than everyone else – they may use their hands instead of cutlery to eat more quickly.
  • Eat off other people’s plates or take food out of their classmates’ lunchboxes
  • Compulsively eat even when they aren’t hungry
  • Eat uncooked food like dried pasta.
  • Be reluctant to share food with others. 
  • Struggle to try new food textures, smells, and flavours. 

Emotional challenges of food 

The way we feel can often impact our appetite. You probably have a go-to food that brings you comfort when you’re feeling sad, and if you’re anxious, eating might be the last thing on your mind.  

When a child moves into care, they have to leave everything behind – the only home they’ve known, their family, belongings and community. The impact of this upheaval, along with their experiences at home, can profoundly impact their emotions. They may feel a sense of loss and grief, as well as fear and anxiety about the future – all of which can affect their appetite.  

They might lose interest in food entirely or become attached to a particular type of food that reminds them of home. Some children may also see eating as something that’s within their control. They had no say in the experiences that led them into care or the move itself, but they can decide what goes into their body.  

foster child cooking

Sensory challenges 

Children who are hypervigilant or neurodiverse can be sensitive to sensory input such as smells, textures, sounds, and the way food looks on their plate. This can make it more difficult for them to tolerate new flavours, smells, and textures of foods.  

They may like two types of foods, but when they’re mixed or served on the same plate, they may refuse to eat them. For example, they may like toast and beans, but when served together, the combination of wet and dry foods could be overwhelming or unappetising for them.  

They may also have a phobia of trying new foods or struggle to identify when they’re hungry, making it difficult for them to receive the nutrients they need.  

Tips for helping children try new foods 

If every mealtime feels like a battle, it’s important to identify the root cause of your child’s behaviour so you can adapt meals to suit your child’s needs.  

One way you can do this is by using the ABC model. The ABC model can help you identify patterns in your child’s behaviour, helping you look beyond the surface and understand what’s really going on. You can then make adjustments to make mealtimes a more positive experience for the child in your care. 

Below are some adjustments you can make to encourage children to try new food and build healthier eating habits.  

Tips for helping children try new foods

Discuss their food preferences 

When your foster child moves in, find out what they like to eat at home and stick to those familiar foods while they settle in. You could also ask them if they prefer their meals to be prepared in a particular way – for example, keeping different types of food on separate plates.  

Make sure you know whether the child in your care has any allergies or intolerances or if they follow a particular diet due to personal or religious reasons.  

Wherever possible, serve the same meal to everyone so your foster child feels part of the family. In those first few days, focus on building trust and getting to know each other rather than encouraging healthy eating habits. 

Gradually introduce new foods 

Giving a child a meal with ingredients they’ve never tried before can be incredibly overwhelming. Instead, you could gradually introduce new foods by providing a smaller taster plate alongside their main meal.  

Let them explore the foods at their own pace. Even if they don’t eat the new foods at first, this gives them a chance to see, feel, and smell the food. It can take 10 to 15 tries before a child begins to like a particular food, so if they try it and don’t like it, continue offering it on a smaller plate. 

Simplify meals  

You don’t have to cook complicated meals to ensure your foster child receives the right balance of each food group – you can simply assemble a meal instead. This means putting each food group on the plate (or separate plates if they prefer), rather than mixing them together to create a typical meal.  

You could also lay out a variety of options on the table and let the family pick and choose the types of food they’d like to try. This can be a great approach for children who dislike foods being mixed together, served with sauces, or who are sensitive to textures and added flavours like herbs and spices. It’s also a brilliant time-saver and can help reduce food waste.  

Get them involved  

You can help build an interest in trying new foods by encouraging the child in your care to get involved in planning and preparing meals. Every week or month, you could ask them to choose a new recipe for the family to try before writing a shopping list together. You could then challenge them to find the various ingredients around the supermarket before cooking the meal as a team. When they sit down to eat the meal, they’ll feel a sense of accomplishment for eating something they helped cook.  

If you foster a younger child, another great way to keep them engaged in trying new foods is by creating a food chart – a poster of different food types they can tick off as they try them. If you foster an older child, you could help them make a recipe book of all the meals they’ve tried and tested, which will come in handy when they leave care. 

Routine and repetition  

Children thrive on routine and stability, so whether it’s a weekend or a weekday, try to stick to a consistent mealtime schedule. If your child seems to struggle at the dinner table in the evening but seems happy enough during breakfast and lunch, they may simply be tired. A slight adjustment to mealtimes might be all they need to have the energy to engage in new flavours, textures, and smells.  

You could also start by introducing new foods at lunchtime during weekends, when things are typically more relaxed, before offering new foods in the evening after school.  

If they have a small appetite, make sure they’re getting enough exercise during the day and aren’t snacking too much between meals, so they feel hungry when it’s time to eat.  

Create food security 

If the child in your care hoards food or seems preoccupied with when their next meal will be served, try to create a sense of food security.  

If they tend to overeat when food is available, offer smaller portions and reassure them that more food is available if they’re still hungry. You could also involve them in creating a basket of healthy snacks they can dip into whenever they want.  

This way, they’ll know they can access food whenever they’re hungry, so they don’t need to save food for later or eat as much as possible during mealtimes. 

Get support 

If you’re concerned about your foster child’s relationship with food, reach out for support. At FCA Scotland, we’re proud of our support for children in foster care, ensuring that we listen to their views and always put them at the centre of their care.  

Our Team Parenting model means you have access to professionals such as therapists, social workers, and education leads who can help you nurture every aspect of your foster child’s well-being. 

You may also find it useful to talk to other foster carers in your local area. Our foster carers have a wealth of experience and may be able to recommend some strategies that have worked for them. 

 

Whether you’re new to fostering or looking to transfer and want to learn more about the positive impact you could have on children in care across Scotland, please get in touch. 

Preparing for Christmas with Teenage Foster Children

When you think of Christmas, images of mince pies, mistletoe and festive feasts may spring to mind, but for the teenager in your care, it may feel significantly different – they could be dreading the festive season. But we’re here to help you prepare for Christmas with your teenager so they can look forward to celebrating and making new happy memories with you and your family.  

The challenges of Christmas for fostered teenagers 

Whether you’ve been fostering a child who’s now a teenager or have just welcomed a teenager into your home, Christmas can provoke strong emotions. It can emphasise feelings of being different from their peers, and experiencing Christmas without their family could intensify a sense of loss and grief. It could also bring difficult memories to the surface if past Christmases with their birth family have been challenging.  

While you can’t prevent your teenager from experiencing distressing emotions about Christmas, you can put them at ease and support them by making plans that consider their individual needs and nurture their well-being. Here are our tips to help you prepare so your teenager feels safe, loved and understood during the Christmas period, into the New Year and beyond. 

Christmas with Teenage Foster Children

Have an open conversation 

One of the best ways to prepare for a Christmas that supports your teenager’s well-being is to talk openly with them about Christmas as early as possible. If you watch TV together and a Christmas advert is shown, this could be a good conversation starter. You could ask them how they feel about Christmas or their favourite thing about the festive period.  

They may not want to engage in conversation, but by approaching the topic, you provide them with a safe space to express their feelings when they are ready. If they are anxious about upcoming celebrations, reassure them and remind them that they can always come to you if things get too much.  

Remain curious and be mindful that their behaviour may tell you everything you need to know about their feelings. If you need extra support, you can always discuss your concerns with your supervising social worker or get advice from other foster carers.  

 

Let them make some decisions 

Whether they tell you or not, teenagers often want more input in decisions that impact them, especially if they are close to adulthood. So, include your teenager in the preparations for Christmas. If this is the first Christmas with your teenager, ask them to share any traditions they’d like to include. If you’ve been fostering your teenager for a while, see if they’d like to swap any of your usual traditions for new ones.  

You could decide what will be on the menu together. They may have seen some recipes online they’d like to try or could prefer something straightforward if they aren’t used to a lavish festive feast. You could also encourage them to feel part of your family by asking them to help you select gifts for each family member.  

Including your teenager in Christmas preparations could help them feel effective and like they belong. It will additionally teach them how to make decisions for themselves, which will be incredibly useful when they leave care. 

Organise teen-friendly activities 

The magic of Christmas isn’t reserved for small children; it can still be found in the eyes of teenagers who’ve never had the opportunity to experience festive fun. So, organise some teen-friendly Christmas activities, and if you have young children, be conscious that your teenager may not want to tag along to Santa’s grotto.  

If your teenager is comfortable with crowds, you could attend a local Christmas market or ice skate at a temporary outdoor rink. Although it’s nice to spend time as a family, your teenager may like to take a friend, so make arrangements far enough in advance to facilitate this.  

Always run ideas for activities by your teenager before making concrete plans, and check in with them regularly to ensure they still want to participate. They may prefer a quiet Christmas at home where they feel safe and comfortable, so a Christmas movie marathon, crafts or baking could be a great alternative. 

Teenage Foster Children Xmas

Buy thoughtful gifts 

If your teenager has come from a home of abuse or neglect, you may be tempted to shower them with gifts to make them happy on Christmas day. However, it could be incredibly overwhelming if they’ve not experienced it before, and they may feel uncomfortable receiving so much attention. Instead, focus on buying a few thoughtful gifts that show your teenager that you understand their personality and interests.  

If you’ve only recently begun fostering a teenager, you could ask them to write a list of ideas or talk to other foster carers for inspiration. But, to get you started, here are our ideas for Christmas presents for a teenager in foster care:  

  • Personalised gifts – If you haven’t had time to figure out exactly what your teenager would like, personalised items could be the ideal option. Writing their name on a mug, water bottle, or necklace shows that you’ve put effort into buying something just for them. 
  • Gift cards – If you’re really struggling with ideas, gift cards could be a good choice. They are more personal than cash and, in the New Year, you could take them on a shopping trip to buy exactly what they want. 
  • Bedroom accessories – If your teenager has recently moved in, you could buy them some accessories for their bedroom, like fluffy blankets, LED lights and personalised bedding.  
  • Self-care items – They may feel anxious, so support their well-being by buying them self-care items that help them feel rested and relaxed, such as an eye mask, bath bombs, bubble bath, a journal or a book of daily affirmations.  

Discuss boundaries  

When the Christmas holidays arrive, your teenager may want to stay up later, sleep in, and take a break from their usual routine. Relaxing their routine slightly can be beneficial, but it’s essential to maintain regular mealtimes and ensure they go to bed at a reasonable hour. This consistency will help them feel safe and stable during the festive season, even if they don’t consciously realise it. 

It’s also a good idea to discuss holiday boundaries with your teenager ahead of time. For instance, establish a limit on how long they can spend on social media and remind them that these limits are set for their own well-being. Don’t forget to take their perspective into account as well. If they’ve previously lived in an environment where alcohol was misused, you may need to exclude alcohol from Christmas celebrations to ensure they feel safe. 

Plans may change 

When fostering teenagers at Christmas, their well-being is the top priority, so you may need to prepare for any last-minute changes to your plans. Reassure your teenager that if they don’t feel up to doing something, that’s perfectly okay, and have some backup ideas ready just in case.  

If your teenager struggles to cope during the festive season, reach out—our support for foster carers is available 24/7. If you’re new to your role, talk to one of our carer buddies or other foster carers in your area; their wealth of experience and knowledge could help steer you in the right direction. 

Remember: Even if your Christmas doesn’t go to plan, your teenager will spend the festive season in a home where they’re safe, loved and appreciated, something they may never have experienced before. 

If you’re thinking about fostering, get in touch. Our team will provide advice and guidance on how to foster a child and the process involved. They’ll also help you prepare to foster and can answer any questions you may have about starting your journey. With you on board, we can provide more children in care with a loving home where they can make positive Christmas memories and have the childhood they truly deserve. 

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