Teaching Your Foster Teen About Healthy Relationships

When you foster a child, you face different challenges depending on their age and experiences. Very young children might need more help with practical things like tying their shoelaces or using the toilet, while teenagers need help navigating our complex world as they become more independent.

During puberty, teenagers also go through lots of changes, from hormones and physical transformations to sitting exams and preparing for adulthood. But perhaps one of the most difficult changes they contend with is a shift in their relationships with their peers.

As they figure out who they are, they may make new friends or explore romantic relationships, and they’ll need your guidance to ensure these connections are safe and healthy.

relationships for teens

Healthy vs unhealthy relationships for teens

When children hit puberty, it can be difficult for them to recognise when their behaviour or someone else’s is problematic due to the rapid changes they’re going through physically, emotionally, and socially.

When you’re fostering teenagers, their early childhood experiences can also distort their idea of what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like, making it more challenging for them to realise when a friendship or romantic connection is actually hurting them.

So how do you help them? As their foster carer, the first step in supporting your young person is to understand the difference between unhealthy and healthy relationships for teens.

Characteristics of a healthy relationship

Here are 5 signs of a healthy relationship between your foster teen and their peer:

  1. Communication: They feel able to express themselves openly and share their thoughts and feelings.
  2. Respect: They value each other for who they are, from their choices and opinions to their feelings and boundaries.
  3. Trust: They are honest and don’t prevent each other from seeing other friends and family, or from being themselves.
  4. Boundaries: They respect each other’s boundaries and feel able to say ‘no’ when they feel it’s necessary.
  5. Equality: Both teens play an equal part in the relationship, have a voice and are treated fairly.

Signs of unhealthy relationships

Although there are a few red flags that someone’s behaviour might be affecting your foster teen and vice versa, one sign on its own doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is unhealthy.

It’s normal for friendships and romantic relationships to have an influence on your teen’s behaviour, but only to a certain extent. It’s when things change dramatically, and a pattern seems to be forming, that it could mean something is adrift.

Knowing your teenager and paying close attention to their behaviour will help you notice the signs that a friendship or romantic connection could be harming them.

Teaching Your Foster Teen About Healthy Relationships

Here are some signs that someone’s behaviour may be affecting your foster teen:

  • Significantly changing the way they dress, style their hair or apply makeup.
  • Dramatic shifts in their weight either up or down.
  • Unexplained injuries and suddenly wearing long sleeves or other types of clothing to cover them even in hot weather.
  • Spending all their time with one person and less time with close friends and family members.
  • Giving up things they once loved, such as hobbies, TV shows, or music and switching to something completely different.
  • Drastic change in views, values, and opinions. They might start saying things that are completely out of character and agreeing or disagreeing with opinions that seem far from their own.
  • More secretive about their phone or where they’ve been.
  • Constantly receiving calls and texts at all hours of the day and seeming anxious if they’re unable to answer them. For example, if you have a phone ban at the dinner table, they might struggle to relax because they can’t respond to a call or message from the person.
  • Their mood seems to swing rapidly from elated to sad, or they appear to be more anxious, down, irritable or tearful than usual.
  • They say things about the relationship that make you feel uneasy. For example, they might tell you the person has told them to stop talking to someone or change the way they dress.
  • Struggling to concentrate at school, which means their schoolwork suffers and their grades drop.
  • They start engaging in more risky behaviours, such as drinking alcohol or vaping.

The signs that your foster teen’s behaviour could be impacting someone else are often trickier to spot, as outwardly the relationship might look okay, but you don’t see what’s really going on behind the scenes. Here are a few red flags to look out for:

  • Constantly messaging or ringing a person
  • Encouraging someone else to skip school, college or work
  • Preventing a friend or romantic interest from seeing other friends and family
  • Making demands, such as looking through someone else’s phone
  • Regularly losing their temper or experiencing mood swings
  • Being secretive about where they’ve been and who they’ve been with
  • Pressuring someone else to engage in behaviour that they’re not comfortable with
  • Seeming to be in constant conflict with their friend or romantic interest

Supporting teenagers in building healthy relationships

Guiding your teenager to make healthy relationship decisions might sound daunting, but whether you provide short-term or long-term foster care, it’s part of your role as their foster carer, and here are our top 5 tips to support them.

Supporting teenagers

Be in the know by attending training

At FCA Scotland, as part of our support for foster carers, we provide training called ‘Healthy Relationships,’ where you’ll learn everything there is to know about supporting teenagers in your care to build more positive connections with their peers.

From the principles of healthy relationships and the signs of unhealthy ones to sexual health and consent, you’ll have more confidence to approach your teen’s relationships when you are in the know.

Teach your teen about healthy relationships

Now you’re armed with the knowledge you need, you can use it to teach your teenager about what healthy relationships look like. This doesn’t mean you have to sit them down and use a whiteboard; you could have a general chat while you’re doing something else or show them videos and discuss their feelings after.

But the main things to cover include:

  • The principles of a healthy relationship: As discussed earlier, these are things like communication, trust, respect, equality, and boundaries.
  • Boundaries: Help them understand what they are, why having them is important, and how to respect other people’s boundaries.
  • Consent: What consent means, what it looks like, and ways another person might say ‘no’ nonverbally.
  • Spotting red flags: Informing your teenager of the signs that a relationship might be unhealthy. At FCA Scotland, we have a great blog in our Being in Care Hub called ‘Spotting the Red Flags: How to Build Healthy Relationships in your Teens’, which you could encourage your young person to read.
  • Sexual health: Talk to your young person about safe sex, consent and the law, and the principles of healthy sexual experiences.

Be a relationship role model

When a child moves into care, they might have never seen what a healthy relationship looks like. If they were born into a household where they felt unsafe or witnessed domestic violence, these sorts of relationships may feel normal to them.

As their foster carer, your relationship with your teenager and with other people, such as your own children, partner, and friends, can show your young person what a healthy relationship looks like.

This can help them see that safe, loving, and positive connections do exist, giving them a blueprint for relationships with friends and romantic interests.

Spend time together

Make sure you spend quality time with your teenager so they know they can always come to you if they experience problems in a relationship with a friend or someone they’re dating.

This will also help you spot signs that something has changed in them and whether it links to a new person in their life. Plus, if you are concerned, it will give you a chance to ask your young person about the relationship casually, which could prevent them from feeling interrogated and becoming defensive.

Remember you aren’t alone

At FCA Scotland, you’re never alone on your fostering journey. From your supervising social worker, who can offer advice and guidance, to our support for children in foster care, including participation ambassadors who ensure young people always have a voice, our team is here to help you support young people in your care.

We also organise activities and events for the whole family and foster carer meetups where you can get to know other families in your area, giving you even more people to lean on and learn from.

Plus, you can access additional resources on our foster carer platform, and organisations such as YoungMinds, NSPCC, and Safeline have lots of useful information to help teenagers build healthier relationships.

Want to learn more about fostering?

If you’re interested in becoming a foster carer and want to learn more about FCA Scotland, call us today on 0141 646 4805 or submit your details via our online form.

Whether you want to find out about our foster care allowance or discover exactly what sort of support you’ll receive, our friendly advisors are ready to answer your questions and get you started on your fostering journey.



Continuing Care: What it Means and Why it Helps Care Leavers

Turning 18 is an exciting time for many teenagers across the country, as they officially become adults and take their lives into their own hands.  

But what if this milestone means you’re now expected to handle everything alone? From managing a household and finding a job to paying rent and cooking nutritious meals, adult responsibilities can be a lot to grapple with all at once.  

That’s where Continuing Care comes in. This gives care leavers more time to get to grips with independent living before they go it alone, and this article will help you understand what it is, why it’s important, and the real difference it can have on young people’s outcomes. 

What is Continuing Care fostering?

In Scotland, children who grow up with their birth family typically leave home when they’re 25. This gives them the chance to build life skills and explore their options, all while knowing they have a place to call home and people who love them if things get tough. It also means that if they choose to go to university, they have somewhere to stay during the holidays.

Continuing Care, which is also known as ‘Staying Put’ in England, ‘When I’m Ready’ in Wales, and ‘Going the Extra Mile’ in Northern Ireland, ensures that teenagers who’ve grown up in foster care have the chance to do the same.

These arrangements allow them to stay with their foster families until they’re 21, and in some cases 26, easing the anxiety about turning 18 and giving them more time to prepare themselves for independent living.

How is Continuing Care different from fostering?

Children enter foster care between the ages of 0 and 18, but once they turn 18, they’re classed as adults, and children’s services stop being responsible for them in the way they were before.

Former foster children who continue to stay with the foster family beyond the age of 18 are considered adult lodgers with a Continuing Care Agreement. However, these arrangements won’t be made with FCA Scotland, but rather with you, your young person, and the local authority, because the services your teenager will need in adulthood will be different.

Is there a Continuing Care allowance?

Yes, your local authority will support you to provide Continuing Care by paying you an allowance.

The amount you receive will depend on your local authority, and as part of the agreement, your young person will be expected to pay a share of their expenses with the income they receive from employment or benefits.

The reason for this is to help young people learn how to manage their money and pay for things like groceries, rent, and utilities when they eventually leave your home.

As with foster care pay, qualifying care relief will also apply to your Continuing Care allowance, which means it’s likely to be tax-free.

5 ways Continuing Care supports care leavers

When you agree for your young person to stay in your home during the first few years of adulthood, you help them by providing:

Stability through big change

Imagine you’re a teenager who, for the past 18 years, has relied on someone else to manage everything, from buying and preparing food to making sure your school uniform is clean and that you get your homework done.

You’ve just turned 18, and you’re now expected to move on to higher education, training, or employment, all while getting to grips with managing a home and keeping yourself fed, clothed, and healthy. You’d probably feel anxious, scared and completely overwhelmed by the prospect of independence.

This is the reality for young people who leave care as soon as they officially become an ‘adult’ by law. But when you allow a teenager to stay in your home until they’re 21 and sometimes longer, you let them walk towards independence at a pace that suits them.

Continuing Care Agreements are also made before a young person turns 18, which means they can finish school or college with hope for their next chapter rather than fear.

A safe place to call home

The sad reality is that care leavers are at higher risk of sofa surfing, living in unsafe accommodation, or becoming homeless. 2024 government data revealed that homelessness among care leavers aged 18 to 20 years had seen a 54% increase in five years.

If you’ve been providing long-term foster care for your young person, they’ve probably become a key member of your family unit, and the last thing you’d want for them is to live in unsafe conditions on the streets.

By providing Continuing Care, you ensure that your teenager has a safe place to call home for longer and protect them from this outcome.

An ongoing sense of belonging

A foster child’s experiences can make it hard for them to trust others and let their guard down enough so they can develop a sense of belonging, especially if they’ve moved foster homes multiple times.

Everyone wants to feel like they belong, like they always have someone to celebrate their achievements with and someone to turn to when things go wrong. People who truly understand who you are, where you’ve come from, and what you’ve been through.

When a child moves into a foster home, it takes time to build a sense of belonging, not only to the family, but also to the area and local community. Imagine having to leave all that behind when you turn 18 and start the process again somewhere new. That would be hard for anyone, but for a young person who has experienced trauma, even the thought of doing so could feel difficult.

Agreeing for your young person to continue living with you for the foreseeable future means they don’t have to say goodbye to feeling like they belong. It also shows them that you truly see them as part of the family and want them to stay.

More time to build life skills

Although 18-year-olds are technically ‘adults’, they still need the wisdom and guidance of a parental figure to navigate this complicated and ever-changing world.

Children learn a lot in school, but some things fall on the caregivers to teach them, such as opening a bank account, setting up insurance policies, saving, investing, cooking, and cleaning.

Living in close quarters with others, such as foster siblings, can also teach young adults very useful social skills, like conflict resolution, active listening, empathy, and cooperation, helping them build healthy relationships at home and work.

You’ve likely already taught your teenager many of these skills. However, when they live with you after 18, they become semi-independent because they’ll be doing things like paying some of the bills, washing their own clothes, and working. This gives them the chance to practice important elements of independence while still having your guidance and support whenever they need it.

As a result, when they are ready to live completely autonomously, they’re more likely to be successful.

The platform for a more successful life

Continuing Care was included in the Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014 and rolled out in Scotland in 2015, following successful trials of the scheme between 2008 and 2011.

A report produced by Action for Children found that young people who stayed with their foster families after turning 18 were twice as likely to continue in full-time education as those who left their foster home.

This demonstrates the real-world difference that Continuing Care has on young people. When they have the chance to remain in education or training, they can break generational cycles of poverty, significantly improve their outcomes, and have a life where they don’t just survive; they thrive.

Supporting teenagers into independence

At FCA Scotland, not only do all of our care leavers have the opportunity to remain with their foster families in Continuing Care arrangements until they’re ready to move on, but they also have access to the following support:

 

  • Expert team: They don’t just receive support from their Local Authority Social Worker; they’re surrounded by our team at FCA Scotland, who’ll help them walk confidently into adulthood. This team includes you, as their foster carer, the family’s FCA Scotland Social Worker, our Education and Support Co-ordinator, and our Children and Young People’s Support Team.
  • Financial Assistance: Care leavers in Scotland are entitled to a range of financial support, such as grants, bursaries and free tuition at Scottish universities. We’ll help your young person understand what they’re eligible for and support them in accessing funding.
  • AQA Unit Award Scheme: All our children and young people have the chance to complete this scheme, which encourages them to try new things, build self-confidence, and learn new skills that will help them when they leave care. They’ll receive a certificate for every unit they complete, which they can showcase on their CV and in university applications.
  • Care Experienced Consultant: This is a paid opportunity that helps young people build relationships within FCA Scotland while gaining first-hand experience in employment. They’ll be trained to sit on interview panels, mentor young people, support events, and more.
  • Being in Care Hub: From money management and finding a job to staying safe online and tackling bullying, our Being in Care Hub is full of advice and guidance to help our children and young people manage life in care and beyond.

Get in touch to find out more

Want to learn more about Continuing Care fostering? Call us today on 0141 646 4805 or submit your details via our online form to speak to a member of our friendly team.

They’re ready to answer any questions you have about becoming a foster carer, including our fostering allowances, training, support, and more.

Together, we can help more children and young people have the childhood they deserve and a future without limits.



Helping Foster Children Explore New Foods

Food is a personal thing. Some foods can offer comfort in uncertainty and help us feel good on a bad day, while others provide mental clarity and give us energy to focus and exercise.  

Food can be an emotive topic, and if you’re worried about whether the child in your care is getting all the nutrients they need, we’re here to help. In this article, we explore the reasons why foster children may have challenges with food and provide tips on how you can help the child in your care discover new flavours so they can benefit from a well-balanced diet. 

trying new foods

Why won’t my foster children try any food? 

As a foster carer, you may spend a lot of time planning and preparing meals to ensure the child in your care receives a well-balanced diet. However, no matter how hard you try, encouraging them to eat the food you’ve so lovingly prepared can be easier said than done.  

Every child can go through periods of food fussiness. However, for children in care, there may be a lot more going on beneath the surface that makes trying new food more complex.  

So, before we look at ways you can help the child in your care explore new foods, we need to recognise the reasons why they may find their relationship with food challenging. 

 

Early experiences of food 

Imagine you’re a child in care who has experienced neglect. You may have spent many years of your early life wondering when you would have your next meal or surviving on a poorly balanced diet.  

If food was scarce, you might have had no choice but to find ways to meet your own basic nutritional needs – for example, by eating as much as possible when food was available or taking a little extra and saving it for the next day.  

You may even have become so accustomed to a lack of food that now you don’t have much of an appetite at all or struggle to try new foods because the choice, new flavours and unfamiliar textures are overwhelming. 

Children who’ve had these sorts of experiences may: 

  • Take extra food and hide it in their bedroom so they know they’ll always have something to eat. 
  • Overeat or eat to the point of feeling sick because they are worried about feeling hungry again. 
  • Seem preoccupied with food – constantly looking in the fridge or cupboard, or asking when they’ll next have something to eat.
  • Not recognise when they are hungry or full.
  • Only want to eat one type of food.
  • Eat faster than everyone else – they may use their hands instead of cutlery to eat more quickly.
  • Eat off other people’s plates or take food out of their classmates’ lunchboxes
  • Compulsively eat even when they aren’t hungry
  • Eat uncooked food like dried pasta.
  • Be reluctant to share food with others. 
  • Struggle to try new food textures, smells, and flavours. 

Emotional challenges of food 

The way we feel can often impact our appetite. You probably have a go-to food that brings you comfort when you’re feeling sad, and if you’re anxious, eating might be the last thing on your mind.  

When a child moves into care, they have to leave everything behind – the only home they’ve known, their family, belongings and community. The impact of this upheaval, along with their experiences at home, can profoundly impact their emotions. They may feel a sense of loss and grief, as well as fear and anxiety about the future – all of which can affect their appetite.  

They might lose interest in food entirely or become attached to a particular type of food that reminds them of home. Some children may also see eating as something that’s within their control. They had no say in the experiences that led them into care or the move itself, but they can decide what goes into their body.  

foster child cooking

Sensory challenges 

Children who are hypervigilant or neurodiverse can be sensitive to sensory input such as smells, textures, sounds, and the way food looks on their plate. This can make it more difficult for them to tolerate new flavours, smells, and textures of foods.  

They may like two types of foods, but when they’re mixed or served on the same plate, they may refuse to eat them. For example, they may like toast and beans, but when served together, the combination of wet and dry foods could be overwhelming or unappetising for them.  

They may also have a phobia of trying new foods or struggle to identify when they’re hungry, making it difficult for them to receive the nutrients they need.  

Tips for helping children try new foods 

If every mealtime feels like a battle, it’s important to identify the root cause of your child’s behaviour so you can adapt meals to suit your child’s needs.  

One way you can do this is by using the ABC model. The ABC model can help you identify patterns in your child’s behaviour, helping you look beyond the surface and understand what’s really going on. You can then make adjustments to make mealtimes a more positive experience for the child in your care. 

Below are some adjustments you can make to encourage children to try new food and build healthier eating habits.  

Tips for helping children try new foods

Discuss their food preferences 

When your foster child moves in, find out what they like to eat at home and stick to those familiar foods while they settle in. You could also ask them if they prefer their meals to be prepared in a particular way – for example, keeping different types of food on separate plates.  

Make sure you know whether the child in your care has any allergies or intolerances or if they follow a particular diet due to personal or religious reasons.  

Wherever possible, serve the same meal to everyone so your foster child feels part of the family. In those first few days, focus on building trust and getting to know each other rather than encouraging healthy eating habits. 

Gradually introduce new foods 

Giving a child a meal with ingredients they’ve never tried before can be incredibly overwhelming. Instead, you could gradually introduce new foods by providing a smaller taster plate alongside their main meal.  

Let them explore the foods at their own pace. Even if they don’t eat the new foods at first, this gives them a chance to see, feel, and smell the food. It can take 10 to 15 tries before a child begins to like a particular food, so if they try it and don’t like it, continue offering it on a smaller plate. 

Simplify meals  

You don’t have to cook complicated meals to ensure your foster child receives the right balance of each food group – you can simply assemble a meal instead. This means putting each food group on the plate (or separate plates if they prefer), rather than mixing them together to create a typical meal.  

You could also lay out a variety of options on the table and let the family pick and choose the types of food they’d like to try. This can be a great approach for children who dislike foods being mixed together, served with sauces, or who are sensitive to textures and added flavours like herbs and spices. It’s also a brilliant time-saver and can help reduce food waste.  

Get them involved  

You can help build an interest in trying new foods by encouraging the child in your care to get involved in planning and preparing meals. Every week or month, you could ask them to choose a new recipe for the family to try before writing a shopping list together. You could then challenge them to find the various ingredients around the supermarket before cooking the meal as a team. When they sit down to eat the meal, they’ll feel a sense of accomplishment for eating something they helped cook.  

If you foster a younger child, another great way to keep them engaged in trying new foods is by creating a food chart – a poster of different food types they can tick off as they try them. If you foster an older child, you could help them make a recipe book of all the meals they’ve tried and tested, which will come in handy when they leave care. 

Routine and repetition  

Children thrive on routine and stability, so whether it’s a weekend or a weekday, try to stick to a consistent mealtime schedule. If your child seems to struggle at the dinner table in the evening but seems happy enough during breakfast and lunch, they may simply be tired. A slight adjustment to mealtimes might be all they need to have the energy to engage in new flavours, textures, and smells.  

You could also start by introducing new foods at lunchtime during weekends, when things are typically more relaxed, before offering new foods in the evening after school.  

If they have a small appetite, make sure they’re getting enough exercise during the day and aren’t snacking too much between meals, so they feel hungry when it’s time to eat.  

Create food security 

If the child in your care hoards food or seems preoccupied with when their next meal will be served, try to create a sense of food security.  

If they tend to overeat when food is available, offer smaller portions and reassure them that more food is available if they’re still hungry. You could also involve them in creating a basket of healthy snacks they can dip into whenever they want.  

This way, they’ll know they can access food whenever they’re hungry, so they don’t need to save food for later or eat as much as possible during mealtimes. 

Get support 

If you’re concerned about your foster child’s relationship with food, reach out for support. At FCA Scotland, we’re proud of our support for children in foster care, ensuring that we listen to their views and always put them at the centre of their care.  

Our Team Parenting model means you have access to professionals such as therapists, social workers, and education leads who can help you nurture every aspect of your foster child’s well-being. 

You may also find it useful to talk to other foster carers in your local area. Our foster carers have a wealth of experience and may be able to recommend some strategies that have worked for them. 

 

Whether you’re new to fostering or looking to transfer and want to learn more about the positive impact you could have on children in care across Scotland, please get in touch. 



Managing Money as a Young Adult

Finding Financial Freedom 

If you’re approaching 18 and preparing to move out on your own or into supported accommodation, it can be a really exciting but scary time.  

Having your own money and the freedom to spend it how you want is brilliant, but it’s also a big responsibility. We’ve put together some tips on how to budget and why it’s important to learn how to manage your money responsibly. 

importance of having a budget

1. Improve your financial literacy 

Students across the UK are often taught very little about managing money while at school. Scotland is currently leading the way to better financial education by committing to making sure that children receive a good standard of financial education by 2030.  

However, that’s still a long way off, and there’s a good chance you feel overwhelmed with how you’ll manage your own money, pay your bills and live independently now that you’re becoming a young adult.  

We should never stop learning, even after we leave school or college. Here are some ways in which you can increase your own financial education, known as ‘financial literacy,’ so that you can become confident in making decisions around money.   

  • Read books or listen to audiobooks on finance. You can find both for free at your local library. Some great ones include ‘Girls who Invest’ by Simran Kaur and ‘What They Don’t Teach You About Money’ by Claer Barrett.  
  • Talk to responsible adults in your life about how they manage their money. 
  • Speak with your social worker about the financial support and guidance you are eligible to receive from your Local Authority when you leave foster care. 
  • Check out local community hubs in your area, who may offer free classes or advice on topics including money management, job searching, mental health and claiming benefits. 
  • Check out reliable online resources, such as Martin Lewis’ Money Saving Expert website.  

 

TOP TIP 

Remember, the financial advice which you see on social media platforms such as TikTok and Instagram may not always be correct, and some people online have an ulterior motive for the information they share, such as promoting their online courses. Always do your own research on a topic rather than solely relying on what a content creator has said.  

 

2. The importance of having a budget 

As a young adult, no one will be in control of your money, which means it’s your responsibility to make good decisions. When you have your own money for the first time, there can be a real temptation to spend it all on fun stuff. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself to some little luxuries, part of becoming a young adult is learning self-control and how to hold yourself accountable for your decisions.  

The best way to ensure that you’re making sensible decisions with your money is to set up a budget for yourself. A budget is a plan which sets out all of your expenses so that you have a clear understanding of what you can spend, and where. By understanding how much of your income you need to spend on essentials like food, rent and electricity, you’ll have a clear idea of how much you’ll have left over to spend on fun things, like nights out, travelling and hitting the shops. 

The most important part of budgeting is being able to identify what you need vs what you could live without. Below are some examples of needs vs wants which you could include in your personal budget. 

Needs Wants
Rent Entertainment
Groceries Eating out/ordering in
Pet food Holidays
Phone contract Shopping allowance
Travel expenses Gym membership
Household bills (water, energy, broadband, council tax, etc) Charity donations
Essential items (like toiletries and cleaning products) Netflix or gaming subscription

How to start your own budget in 5 easy steps 

  1. Figure out how much money you have each month. Sit down with a pen and paper and figure out exactly how much money you’ll have coming in each month, whether this be from work, side hustles or benefits. Use the Government benefits calculator or talk to your social worker to see what you might be entitled to. 
  2. Write out a list of all your wants and needs. Everyone’s list will look different; for example, some people might consider things like a TV licence, gym membership or savings to be in their ‘needs’ category, while others might see these as ‘wants.’ 
  3. Allocate your budget. Next to each item in your ‘needs’ category, write down an estimation of how much you’ll need to spend on each item per month. It’s better to overestimate how much you’ll need to spend in each category than underestimate; you can always come back and adjust your budget if you need to. Then do the same with your ‘wants’ category, allocating yourself a reasonable amount in each category with the money you have left over. When the month begins, try to stick as closely as you can to what you’ve written out in your budget.
  4. Revise your budget. Now that you’ve started putting your budget into action, you should sit down at the end of each month and work out how much you have actually spent in each category. You may find that you’ve overspent in some areas and spent less than you’d anticipated in others. Use this information to adjust your budget accordingly.
  5. Check in each month to keep track of your finances. After your first three months, look back on your past three bank statements to see if there are any areas where you are consistently overspending so that you can make a plan to tackle these. 

Top Tips to Make Budgeting Fun 

  • Try cash stuffing. Some people find that cash stuffing, a method popularised by TikTok where you take your money out of the bank so that you can keep track of your spending more easily, is a really effective method of budgeting. It’s also especially helpful for people who struggle with overspending on things they want but don’t need.
    There are lots of fun pre-made and customisable cash stuffing binders out there to help you get started, though you can just use normal envelopes to keep track of your money if you prefer. Learn more about how to get started with cash stuffing.  
  • Reward yourself when you succeed. Having a goal to work towards, such as treating yourself to a new video game, a pair of trainers or a new makeup palette if you stick to your budget, can help you stay on track. Creating a vision board can also be a fantastic and fun way of keeping yourself focused on your financial goals. 
  • Set yourself a budgeting challenge. ‘Gamifying’ is a well-known technique to make boring things, like budgeting, a little more exciting. Setting yourself spending goals and challenges, such as a no-buy or a low-buy month, can turn budgeting into a fun and rewarding challenge.  

 

For example, you could make a commitment at the start of next month to not spend any money on clothes, or you could commit to only buying second hand clothing for 6 months; not only will you save yourself money, but you’ll also be saving the planet by using what you have and not buying new. 

The importance of savings

Another important aspect of budgeting is ensuring that you put some money away in a savings account. An estimated 30% of UK adults have no savings, which is a very vulnerable position to be in financially. Savings are important for three main reasons:

  • Savings give you a safety net if you need money unexpectedly, such as if your washing machine breaks or your car needs fixing.
  • Savings allow you to build up a pool of money which can be used for important life goals, like buying a new home, travelling abroad or getting married. Savings are also important for your retirement, though that may seem a long way of right now!
  • Savings generate a passive income; meaning that, if you keep your money in a savings account, you will earn free money known as ‘interest.’

 

You can set up a savings account very easily through your online banking app. If you’re just starting out with saving, we’d recommend an instant access savings account, which allows you to draw out your money at any time. Look for accounts with a high interest rate to maximize your savings: between 4-5% is considered a good rate.

saving money

Top Tips on Saving 

  • The 50/30/20 rule. When it comes to savings and budgeting, lots of people favour this method. People who follow this rule spend 50% of their monthly income on their needs, 30% on wants, and save the remaining 20%. You don’t have to follow this rule to the letter, but it’s a great place to start while you figure out your own financial goals.  
  • Always save first. Rather than putting the money you have left over at the end of the month into a savings account, put a percentage of your income into savings as soon as you get paid. Having a ‘save the change’ style account, where every purchase you make with your bank card is rounded up to a pound and the left-over change goes straight into a savings account, is a super easy way of getting started with savings.  
  • Open a LISA account. We recommend that all young people who would like to own a home in the future open up a LISA bank account. A LISA account can be opened for as little as £1, and thanks to a government scheme, the government will give you an extra 25% free money on top of whatever you save, meaning you could save up to an extra £1,000 per year. Learn more about LISA accounts.  
  • Help to Save. If you’re on benefits, you may be able to benefit from the Government’s ‘Help to Save’ scheme. The Government will match your savings up to 50% to give you a fantastic savings boost. Learn more about the ‘Help to Save’ scheme in Scotland. 

 

Take control of your financial future 

Want to learn more about how to build your independence as a young person? Check out our Care Hub for more guidance, which includes great articles like how to find your first job and how to live independently. 



Preparing for Christmas with Teenage Foster Children

When you think of Christmas, images of mince pies, mistletoe and festive feasts may spring to mind, but for the teenager in your care, it may feel significantly different – they could be dreading the festive season. But we’re here to help you prepare for Christmas with your teenager so they can look forward to celebrating and making new happy memories with you and your family.  

The challenges of Christmas for fostered teenagers 

Whether you’ve been fostering a child who’s now a teenager or have just welcomed a teenager into your home, Christmas can provoke strong emotions. It can emphasise feelings of being different from their peers, and experiencing Christmas without their family could intensify a sense of loss and grief. It could also bring difficult memories to the surface if past Christmases with their birth family have been challenging.  

While you can’t prevent your teenager from experiencing distressing emotions about Christmas, you can put them at ease and support them by making plans that consider their individual needs and nurture their well-being. Here are our tips to help you prepare so your teenager feels safe, loved and understood during the Christmas period, into the New Year and beyond. 

Christmas with Teenage Foster Children

Have an open conversation 

One of the best ways to prepare for a Christmas that supports your teenager’s well-being is to talk openly with them about Christmas as early as possible. If you watch TV together and a Christmas advert is shown, this could be a good conversation starter. You could ask them how they feel about Christmas or their favourite thing about the festive period.  

They may not want to engage in conversation, but by approaching the topic, you provide them with a safe space to express their feelings when they are ready. If they are anxious about upcoming celebrations, reassure them and remind them that they can always come to you if things get too much.  

Remain curious and be mindful that their behaviour may tell you everything you need to know about their feelings. If you need extra support, you can always discuss your concerns with your supervising social worker or get advice from other foster carers.  

 

Let them make some decisions 

Whether they tell you or not, teenagers often want more input in decisions that impact them, especially if they are close to adulthood. So, include your teenager in the preparations for Christmas. If this is the first Christmas with your teenager, ask them to share any traditions they’d like to include. If you’ve been fostering your teenager for a while, see if they’d like to swap any of your usual traditions for new ones.  

You could decide what will be on the menu together. They may have seen some recipes online they’d like to try or could prefer something straightforward if they aren’t used to a lavish festive feast. You could also encourage them to feel part of your family by asking them to help you select gifts for each family member.  

Including your teenager in Christmas preparations could help them feel effective and like they belong. It will additionally teach them how to make decisions for themselves, which will be incredibly useful when they leave care. 

Organise teen-friendly activities 

The magic of Christmas isn’t reserved for small children; it can still be found in the eyes of teenagers who’ve never had the opportunity to experience festive fun. So, organise some teen-friendly Christmas activities, and if you have young children, be conscious that your teenager may not want to tag along to Santa’s grotto.  

If your teenager is comfortable with crowds, you could attend a local Christmas market or ice skate at a temporary outdoor rink. Although it’s nice to spend time as a family, your teenager may like to take a friend, so make arrangements far enough in advance to facilitate this.  

Always run ideas for activities by your teenager before making concrete plans, and check in with them regularly to ensure they still want to participate. They may prefer a quiet Christmas at home where they feel safe and comfortable, so a Christmas movie marathon, crafts or baking could be a great alternative. 

Teenage Foster Children Xmas

Buy thoughtful gifts 

If your teenager has come from a home of abuse or neglect, you may be tempted to shower them with gifts to make them happy on Christmas day. However, it could be incredibly overwhelming if they’ve not experienced it before, and they may feel uncomfortable receiving so much attention. Instead, focus on buying a few thoughtful gifts that show your teenager that you understand their personality and interests.  

If you’ve only recently begun fostering a teenager, you could ask them to write a list of ideas or talk to other foster carers for inspiration. But, to get you started, here are our ideas for Christmas presents for a teenager in foster care:  

  • Personalised gifts – If you haven’t had time to figure out exactly what your teenager would like, personalised items could be the ideal option. Writing their name on a mug, water bottle, or necklace shows that you’ve put effort into buying something just for them. 
  • Gift cards – If you’re really struggling with ideas, gift cards could be a good choice. They are more personal than cash and, in the New Year, you could take them on a shopping trip to buy exactly what they want. 
  • Bedroom accessories – If your teenager has recently moved in, you could buy them some accessories for their bedroom, like fluffy blankets, LED lights and personalised bedding.  
  • Self-care items – They may feel anxious, so support their well-being by buying them self-care items that help them feel rested and relaxed, such as an eye mask, bath bombs, bubble bath, a journal or a book of daily affirmations.  

Discuss boundaries  

When the Christmas holidays arrive, your teenager may want to stay up later, sleep in, and take a break from their usual routine. Relaxing their routine slightly can be beneficial, but it’s essential to maintain regular mealtimes and ensure they go to bed at a reasonable hour. This consistency will help them feel safe and stable during the festive season, even if they don’t consciously realise it. 

It’s also a good idea to discuss holiday boundaries with your teenager ahead of time. For instance, establish a limit on how long they can spend on social media and remind them that these limits are set for their own well-being. Don’t forget to take their perspective into account as well. If they’ve previously lived in an environment where alcohol was misused, you may need to exclude alcohol from Christmas celebrations to ensure they feel safe. 

Plans may change 

When fostering teenagers at Christmas, their well-being is the top priority, so you may need to prepare for any last-minute changes to your plans. Reassure your teenager that if they don’t feel up to doing something, that’s perfectly okay, and have some backup ideas ready just in case.  

If your teenager struggles to cope during the festive season, reach out—our support for foster carers is available 24/7. If you’re new to your role, talk to one of our carer buddies or other foster carers in your area; their wealth of experience and knowledge could help steer you in the right direction. 

Remember: Even if your Christmas doesn’t go to plan, your teenager will spend the festive season in a home where they’re safe, loved and appreciated, something they may never have experienced before. 

If you’re thinking about fostering, get in touch. Our team will provide advice and guidance on how to foster a child and the process involved. They’ll also help you prepare to foster and can answer any questions you may have about starting your journey. With you on board, we can provide more children in care with a loving home where they can make positive Christmas memories and have the childhood they truly deserve.